UnNamed
by yaoiXXX
Summary: This a story based around the Holocaust. Ritsuka is a homosexual, trying to be killed by the Nazis.Soubi is a Nazi, trying to get Ritsuka to love him.When soubi kidnaps Ritsuka, what will occur? Please Read and Review. Rated M for later chapters.
1. The Boy's Daring Rescue

**Authors Note: Hello! I know I've got like, three ongoing stories, but we're studying the Holocaust and I couldn't help myself. This is about a boy, Ritsuka, who was in hiding from the Nazis. When one Nazi finds him and takes him far away from his abusive mother, kidnapping him, claiming undying love what will the young boy's reaction be? When Soubi, a Nazi who has fallen in love with a young homosexual boy, what will happen? Yes, Hitler killed Jews, but he also killed Homosexuals, Jehovah's Witnesses, Gypsies, and anyone with dark hair. He didn't just kill Jews, so all you who have something to say about it, screw off. It's a lemon.**

**The chick who kept sending people to kill Ritsu and Soubi is Hitler. I don't know her name. Deal with it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

Ritsuka was dying inside. He could not go out, and he could not stay in. His mother beat him, for simply following what he believed in. He was a homosexual. The Furor hated his kind. He lived in the attic above his mother's home. She aloud him to live there only because his older brother, Seime had wished it. He didn't want to be in the middle of this war. He didn't want to be in his home. Ritsuka hoped with all his heart that someday someone would take him far away, to safety. He wished it with all his heart that he would be saved one day.

Soubi walked to the woman's door to collect her son. He had been watching the young man through the attic window. The boy cried every night, while staring out the window. He would just stair and stair at the stars, and then his mother would come and yank him away by his hair. Then after about three hours the boy would come back to the window and cry. He would always be bruised or cut. It was a pitiful sight that broke the soldier's heart. So earlier that day he had staged his death, and tonight he planned to take the boy, far from his dreadful home, he didn't care if the Furor did find and kill him, as long as he could give the boy freedom.

As he knocked on the door he heard a dog barking, somewhere down the street. As a tall, lean woman answered it, she frowned, and then smiled a bit.

"Hello, officer. How can I help you?"

The man's face looked as if he were angry.

"I have come to receive some information about an unwanted visitor in your attic. May I come in?" His voice was cold, and the woman looked pleased with herself as she stepped aside and let the man in.

"Please, Officer, I don't know what to do. It's my son, he's a homosexual! It's terrible, I know, but I cannot do anything about it! My older son, before leaving the household, told him 'To believe in what he wanted."

"I understand ma'am. Please, lead the way to the upstairs. I'll be taking him tonight."

"Please do! I cannot stand to have anything that goes against the High Furor's wishes in my home." The evil woman. She sold out her own son, just to gain the favor of the Furor.

'_What filth, the woman is completely evil.'_ he thought as he reached the upstairs, his final destination, the window. There the boy sat, sleeping, his face pressed against the cool glass. It was snowing outside, and his shallow breath made fog appear and disappear from the window. In, out, in, out. The breathing never slowed or increased until the woman reached down and grabbed his black locks.

"Get up, boy!"

As he woke he grasped her hand, the one dragging him up, "Mother I-"

His voice dropped and died off as he saw the Officer standing close behind her.

"No…Mother, please!" He cried, looking swiftly towards the woman who had given him birth.

She laughed, and pulled the boy towards the older man, as Ritsuka struggled.

"No son of mine would be a homosexual. I don't care what your brother said; I'm not dying for a filthy thing like you." She threw the boy down at the feet of the Officer.

"Mother?!" It was that shrill, terrified voice again, of the beaten boy. He had his arm out in front of him and his eyes tightly squeezed shut.

The Officer bent down and picked the boy up, slinging him over his shoulder.

"Boy, I suggest you not make a fuss. If you're good I can get a fair word in for you."

The voice that rang out through the room was the Officers, cold and low pitched. It aroused Ritsuka, to his terror and embarrassment. The boy trembled in fear, and tried not to scream. He was panicking, and he was trying hard not to beg and plead with the man to spare him. As he was dragged down the stares, the man set him down.

"Coat, boots now." Ritsuka was surprised by the mans demand, but still got the things together.

"If you're sick, you won't make it past the gates." The older man explained what Ritsuka found to be his only comfort; a small amount of kindness from the man. A wool hat was shoved down upon his head, causing him to wince. When the older man picked him up bridal-style he almost shrieked.

He man was silent as he opened the door and stepped over the thresh-hold into the snow. He was taking Ritsuka away, but not as the boy had wanted.

After a few hours of being carried, the boy had fallen asleep, and every now and then, would whimper. The older man was amazed by the thinness of the small boy, whose name was still unknown to him. He walked until they were out of the city. By the time the sun had risen, the boy had woken up, and asked if he could walk. After making Ritsuka promise not to runaway, the older man let the boy down.

Ritsuka had barely uttered more then three words to the Officer since the night before.

When the older man was sleeping, Ritsuka had woken and had stared at the man for hours. He didn't touch the Officer, he just looked. When the man awoke Ritsuka was still looking.

'_It had probably freaked him out to have a homosexual stare at him…'_ The younger boy had thought, causing a great sadness to fill his heart.

They had been walking forever the next day, and Ritsuka had almost collapsed. He could tell he was dehydrated, and since he hadn't eaten in almost a week, he was sure he was on the borderline of starvation. When he'd fallen face first into the snow, the older man looked back, only to see the young boys sleek dark hair against the giant pile of snow. The older man bent and picked him up and found the boy was barely alive. He had frostbitten fingers, and he was lighter then he had been before. The dark circles under his eyes showed prominent signs of insomnia. He held the boy close to him in an attempt to warm him up. They were only a few miles from the nearest town, so the Officer took off his soldier's uniform. He wore underneath a fur coat and fine clothing, courtesy of his friend Kio. He had told the man of the little boy in the window, and told him of hi plan.

The other man had sent him off with money and clothes, to keep him safe and warm.

When he buried the soldier's uniform under the frozen dirt he returned to the boy, whose name he was still uncertain of. He picked the boy up and carried him through the snow, taking him to the next town to find an inn.

When he checked in, he had gotten only one room, for him and his 'son.'


	2. The Inn, And New Clothing

**Authors Note: Okie dokie! Thank you for the two reviews! I love all of you that have come back for more. You're so awesome. Anyway, Ritsuka and Soubi might have an interesting meeting on one of the upcoming chapters. Ha. Anyway, onto the disclaimer, then the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

Ritsuka woke when a warm rag was placed on his forehead. He sat up suddenly, not knowing where he was. He was in a warm bed, with a fire crackling and popping across the room. When he looked around he saw the man that had taken him from his home.

He was intently reading a book, and he hadn't noticed that Ritsuka had woken up.

"Um, excuse me, sir?" His timid voice was raspy and almost sounded dead. He was terrified; the man had told him not to fuss.

The Officer looked up from the book he was reading and smiled, "Hmm? What is it?"

The man's long silver hair was tied up unto a loose pony tail, and he was wearing thin spectacles. The clothing he wore was not that of a soldier, but of a rich man's. When the boy realized he was wearing nothing but his undergarments, he blushed bright red. He remembered reading once that when you went to a concentration camp not only did they often take your clothing, but they shaved your head. His hand shot to his head in horror, and he sighed in relief when he found his locks still intact.

"Ah, your clothes," The older man pulled some clean, new clothing from a bag at his side, "Put these on. I threw the others away. The workers at this in know you as my son. Do not reveal your sexual orientation, and do not speak openly with strangers."

"Y-yes…" The boy's hands shook as he took the fine clothing, a silk shirt and slacks and a pair of highly tailored boots. This was the finest clothing he had ever seen, and the man was giving it to him, "Um…but…May I ask why you brought me here? And where is here exactly? I thought I was going to a concentration camp or an extermination camp…"

The man laughed and shook his head no.

"You were being abused by your mother, right? Or did you want to stay there?" Ritsuka's eyes widened at the thought of going back. "I didn't find out that you were a homosexual until I entered your home. I am sorry that I made you walk so long, but from here out we can take the train. That will take us out of the country. We will be going to Asia, if you have any concerns; I'm not so sure I will listen about them."

"No, I have no concerns…But how did you even know that I was up in the attic being abused? I'm sure mother wouldn't have actually told anyone, Brother made her swear that she wouldn't…" The boy's face saddened at the mention of his brother.

"I saw you, from the small window in the attic. It wasn't very hard, with you sitting there all day every day." The older man smiled, and picked up his book. "Please dress. We will be going shopping for supplies later. Oh, I have this."

The officer held up a picture of a small baby with black locks, which looked exactly like Ritsuka as a baby. It was burned on one corner. In fact, it was Ritsuka.

"What is your name, boy?" the older man asked, realizing he did not even know his 'son's' name.

"Ri-Ritsuka, sir…" The small boy held out a trembling hand, as if to offer it to shake.

When the older man took it and shook it lightly, the Officer felt the boy's ice cold touch. It was as if Ritsuka had died right on the spot.

"I am Soubi. But you can't call me that in front of others. I am no longer a Nazi soldier, so you have nothing to fear of me, unless of course you smell my morning breath." Soubi grinned, showing his perfectly strait white teeth, and then laughed heartily.

Ritsuka giggled, and then started to put on his clothing. He slipped off the bed and shoved his legs into his slacks and realized that they were not silk, but crushed velvet. They were strait bootleg cuts, and very small, like they had been made especially for him.

"May I ask why you took me away from home then? And gave me this clothing? Its all to confusing, really…" The uncertainty in his voice rang true and loudly throughout the room.

"Ah, because I could not stand that you seemed so depressed when I always saw your face. It was as if you were begging for someone to save you. Now please, finish dressing. You'll catch a cold if you stay like that for too long."

Soubi had realized that this boy had never or very rarely been treated kindly.

"Yes sir…" The boy slid his arms into the long sleeves of the black silk shirt. That part was easy. He buttoned first three away from his neck to three below his bellybutton. Then he kept getting the buttoning wrong, his face burning red as he struggled with the evil garment.

To his shock Soubi stepped over closely to him, overbearing him and pulling his hands away from his shirt. He then, to Ritsuka's embarrassment buttoned almost all the buttons. He then patted the wrinkles away and sat back down in his chair to read. Then he looked up suddenly.

"I just remembered. This is your's, right? If it's your mothers, we've just stolen it, but I picked it up as we left." He held out Ritsuka's most prized possession. It was his school bag, which he hoped still contained what he had packed in the case that he would have to run. He snatched it away and quickly dumped onto on the bed. The pile was immense, containing paper, a small slab of cheese and a lump of bread, wrapped in newspaper, both of which he had stolen from his mother's kitchen. He searched through the pile and found the picture of his older brother. Then after finding it he placed everything carefully back into the bag, only this time more organized.

"That's one hell of a pile you got there kid." Soubi grinned like a small child as a pillow was flung at him.

"It was stuff my brother told me to pack. In case I needed to run away." Sadness filled the boy's eyes as he looked down at the older boy in the photograph. His brother was smiling, looking happy as ever. Ritsuka missed his brother, and his brother's smile. His brother was the only one he had remembered after losing is memory. He was the one Ritsuka went to when their mother beat him, or threw glass at him. Once a cup had shattered upon contact with his head and his cheek was sliced open. Once she threw his favorite item at him, a crystal heart that had his name inscribed into a small golden heart on it. It shattered, and his brother held him as he cried. The next day, his brother 'accidentally' knocked his mother's favorite vase from the shelf.

"Oh. I apologize." Arms encircled the boy, trying at comfort. Ritsuka hadn't heard the man get up, and was a tad bit tense, until the arms let go, then a hand ruffled his hair.


	3. Ravish The Boy, Break The Heart

**Authors Note: O mi gosh. I'm amazed. Two reviews like, almost within an hour. Thank you! Alrighty, (I'm so mad now! 'alrighty' wasn't in my word dictionary. Grrr!) **

**Paigeion****: Yes, thank you.**

**black.is.the.new.blood: Thank you so much! It means **

**a lot to me that you think that about my story.**

**pleasuresky: Yes, I know, but frankly dear, I'm just amazing. ;D**

**black.is.the.new.blood: Thank you AGAIN :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

Shopping was something Ritsuka did well; he knew how to compare prices with an amazing ability. Soubi was amazed as the small boy took over the older man's shopping list.

"This is horrid. We've already spent a lot of our money…" The older man looked pained as he saw only a few things checked off on the list.

"Well, you didn't even try to see which price was lower for anything. Just because there's something expensive it doesn't mean that particular item is anymore high-quality then something cheap."

"Oh? Then you take over." As the young boy led Soubi throughout the city, he spent little money on a large amount of supplies. He swept through the list with amazing tactics, stunning the older man.

"Are we done?" Ritsuka asked, sitting down on a bench after handing Soubi the money that Ritsuka had barely dented on the shopping.

"Yes, we can go to the inn…" The older man said numbly, absentminded after being shown up by a kid.

AS they walked Soubi laughed. Not just a little, either, the kind of laugh that you see insane crazed maniac's committing on the streets as they're dragged into the back of a hospital automobile while wearing a straitjacket. Once he started, people started staring. Ritsuka didn't care, he was just angry that the people wouldn't keep themselves out of other people's business.

When they had reached the inn, the woman smiled at him, and he stepped behind his 'father' and grabbed the back of Soubi's shirt, looking very startled. When she pointed the boy out to the other woman working there, he could have shrieked. They started to approach the man and boy, both smiling. Soubi was quite confused that the boy was hiding, and he didn't know what from until he saw the advancing women.

"Hello, sir. We couldn't help but notice your adorable son from across the room. What is his name?" The first woman that had seen Ritsuka asked, smiling impossibly more.

Ritsuka pressed up against Soubi when another woman came over, trembling; he was completely terrified. He winced when one woman reached out and patted his head.

"I think you've terrified my son enough, ladies. I apologize, we lived in the country and he hasn't had much contact with many people at one time. He's been rather shy since he was a young child." With this he grabbed Ritsuka's hand and pulled him away from the women, leaving them disappointed.

When the two reached the room, Ritsuka was still trembling fiercely. The expression on his face clearly stated the fact that he wanted neither hide nor hare of a conversation with people other then Soubi, and that he was still petrified. The older man wrapped his arms around the boy, hugging him tightly, trying to comfort the boy.

When Ritsuka wrapped his arms around Soubi's neck and cried, Soubi almost gasped. He was not expecting the boy to cry, let alone hug him back. When the boy finished crying, they stayed on the edge of the bed, where Soubi had guided them to.

"I'm sorry, now your shirt's all wet…" Ritsuka touched the wet spots his eyes had made in the older man's shirt.

Soubi petted Ritsuka's head like a loving mother would and then chuckled, "If that's all you've got to say after that then by all means I'm glad. I'm no good at comforting people. Please, rest some; we can't have you passing out."

Soubi got up and walked to the door, smiling at Ritsuka before opening it.

"Thank you." The small whisper was barely audible through the room, but Soubi heard it, and he had to force himself not to run to the bed and ravish the boy. No, not until they reached the country where this kind of thing was aloud…then not even the boy could stop him.

As he walked out the door, he figured when he came back, he would tell the boy that he loved him.


	4. Problems With The Man And With The Boy

**Authors Note: I went shopping with my mom and little sister a while back, and we met my grand parents and my older sister in the mall we went to. I started talking about yaoi with my older sister and my grand mother overheard us. When she asked me what we were talking about, I immediately said "Young Academics on Ice." My mother yelled at me when we got home, because she knows what (and hates) yaoi is. I just thought you all should know. I just realized how fecking short my last chapter was! I'm sorry. Ok, its Monday morning, and I'd like to say I can't upload stories as fast on days other then Friday and Saturday. Sunday consists of homework and then all through the week I have A LOT of homework.**

**Deshera: Thanks so much.**

**black.is.the.new.blood: Thank you again! This fan fiction could end up being way long. xD I'm good like that. I don't even know how I'm going to end it. Be prepared for anything!**

**Paigeion: Thank you! I find it really helpful that I've gotten this many reviews! So please keep up the good work!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

Ritsuka sat down by the fire place on the floor. Now that he was alone in the room, everything was too big. He hated it; the room was spectacular, but too much so for his taste. The largeness of the room made him feel terribly lonely. It was much to fine, and he didn't like it. So he settled down on the rug in front of the fire place. It was warm and comfortable, and he curled up so that his knees were bent, and his arms wrapped around them. When he rested his chin on his arms, he watched the flames dance.

He remembered what his mother had told him recently, while she had her hands around his throat strangling him.

"I'll never make you try to stay! If you would only chose to leave! Why don't you give me my wonderful son Ritsuka back, you monster! My Ritsuka would never hurt me like this. My Ritsuka, my Ritsuka!" He had pleaded with her, begging her to stop. She had only complied when he was near dead, and when she dropped him he laid collapsed on the attic floor.

While sitting on the floor, thinking of his mother, he went to sleep, dreaming of a happy time, when he could love without fear of being killed, and a place where he would once and for all be protected.

Soubi had gone down trying to cool his nerves off, and was buying train tickets at the overcrowded station. He had not expected the boy to be so afraid of mere women. Was he only afraid of them for his mother? Or was it something different? He stepped up to the booth and asked for two train tickets, he planned on them leaving as soon as the first train was out tomorrow.

They were going to move through a zigzag, making sure they would not be found. First they would move to the tip of Germany, and then they would move on boat into Sweden, and then take a series of trains through the country until they reached Finland. Then they would take multiple trains throughout Russia. They would go through Mongolia and then reach their final destination; China. Someday, he hoped to bring the boy to America, or Japan. There you wouldn't be persecuted for loving who you wanted. He hadn't yet told the boy that he loved him, and though he didn't fear the boy's rejection, he feared the boy loosing his willingness to stay once he actually proclaimed his love.

Before he received the tickets, he heard a commotion behind him. Turning, he saw a young girl being harassed by three men.

"Please stop!" The girl screeched, when Soubi saw the man had his hand on her breast.

"_How could he do that here, in public of all places?" _Soubi didn't want the girl to be harmed; she seemed terrified, as Ritsuka had been earlier. He started walking, intent on killing three men. When he reached the girl he put his arm around her shoulders.

"Gentlemen, I assume you have a reason for touching friend here?" The deep sound of his voice stopped the men like a gunshot.

When the men backed away he glared at each one.

"We, we sure didn't mean no harm!" when they ran off the girl turned to Soubi.

"Ah, thank you." As the girl bustled off Soubi wondered why she looked so familiar.

The man went back to his spot in line, the woman standing impatiently behind the counter.

"Sir, please take your tickets." He grabbed them and walked away, since he had paid for them before.

Going back to the inn was hectic. He was walking through a heavy snowstorm and almost froze until a man in the town Pub pulled him in. He realized by the number of people in the place that he would probably be in that retched place for a while.

Ritsuka was having a hectic time of his own. He had fallen asleep, but unlike the norm, he was a dream that had been reoccurring since the night his brother left. The dream sacred him, because he always woke up before he was supposed to, causing him to stop before the dram was over. He wished he could sleep longer, instead of being ransacked from his dreams. The kind of dream that you know is a ream, yet you make sure to continue dreaming this dream for the sole purpose that you need to know what happens. Ritsuka was a curious boy like that.

The dream was one of his brother, and one of his mother. From when he was very young, and then it got to the age he was when he lost his memory, showing small tidbits of his memory. He was horrified though; his mother told him many times that he was a horrid beast, and he was not her son. He loved her, and wished she would be kind to him. When his brother left home he had made Ritsuka promise to not 'change back,' because he didn't think it was necessary, and he was still the same. Except for the fact that he was a terribly sad little boy and he could only remember who his brother was after he saw his family.

**Authors Note: You'll have to wait until this Friday! That's when Christmas Vacation starts! (It's only a week though…) Please give me a lot of reviews, when its three am and I'm writing parts for this story and go see my stats and see a new review, I get so much energy! Thank you!**

**P.S.**

**The next chapter will be Ritsuka's dream-no worries.**


	5. The Dreams Of The Boy And Another Man

**Authors Note: O my gosh, guys. I'm so happy. 11 reviews in only three chapters is like a record for me! So I'm almost done with the Gankutsuou And The Count Of Monte Cristo. I'm so angsty about it. xD I got the original book, The Count Of Monte Cristo from the library from the library, and I also got my favorite book, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland & Through The Looking-Glass. It's such an amazing story. **

**Haruhi Komodori: Pssh. Soubi is a pervert. Uh, hello, he totally kidnapped Ritsuka just so he could fuck his brains out in later chapters…**

**black.is.the.new.blood: I think most people actually think their stories out or something…I got no freaking clue. LOL.**

**Lovelessheart18: Thanks so much!**

**Chiya-Chan: Thank you, thank you, and thank you!**

**CainHargrevesWife: Thanks!**

**troublesome67: That's really sweet! I didn't get**

**a chance to read it at three, but I read it at six. Thank you!**

**Ritsuka's life will get better with Soubi around.**

**I promise.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

Ritsuka was three years old as he stared out the window of the attic, waiting for his brother to some home. The older boy had promised to show him how to tie his shoelaces, but he had to stay after school that day. He stayed after often, so Ritsuka didn't mind much. He had drawn a picture of his older brother, and he was going to give it to Seime later, as a present. When he saw the familiar looking face come walking down the street he rushed down the stairs, meeting the older boy at the door with an abominably large hug.

Ritsuka was sitting on a bench in the park, giggling as his brother tickled him. The day had turned from sunny to rainy instantly, and to Ritsuka's displeasure they had to go home.

The school seemed big as Ritsuka stood in front of it with his brother; they had walked together since Ritsuka's school was on the way to his brothers. His brother ruffled his hair and kissed him on the forehead, wishing him a good day.

His mother gave him a big kiss as she tucked him into bed, after reading his favorite story. She had said, 'Good night, my son. Sleep well. I love you Ritsuka.'

That was something that Ritsuka had begged to hear; that his mother loved him. He missed her, deeply, even if she had abused him.

The dream faded before he even got to reach his favorite part, someone pounding on the door angrily. He thought that it might be Soubi, but then realized the older man couldn't have gotten in through the weather. He watched the snow fall hard out the window, except it was like a sheet of white with little specks of black in it. He ignored the knocking, and when it stopped he heard a small voice through the thick door. Then he heard a man's voice, nothing like Soubi's. Ritsuka got up off the floor, and went to the door. Unlocking it, he peeped out.

"H…hello?" He left the chain in the door, something Soubi had installed himself, saying that he didn't want anybody getting in unless he was known by either him or the boy.

"Ah, Soubi, I need to speak to Soubi!" The man seemed frantic as he shoved at the door.

"Um…I'm sorry, he's not here…Um…" The female voice was that of the woman who had petted his hair earlier, "Perhaps you could come back? When the storm is over maybe? My…Father…has left."

"Oh! You're his son! Soubi knows me very well! I helped assist with certain things before you left the farm." The man knew the tale Soubi had spun, and so Ritsuka slid open the chain.

"Oh, um, father would want me to let you in then…" He opened the door, allowing the man inside, and shutting it so the worker at the in could not follow, if even with her eyes. The man flopped himself down on Ritsuka's and Soubi's bed and sighed.

"So you're the kid, huh? Soubi was watching you from that attic window for a while, did you know?" The formal voice had dropped.

"No…I didn't know until he came and got me…" Ritsuka walked over to stand by the other side of the room to stare out the window.

"You know that he's kidnapping you, right? It's not the sort of kidnapping where the kidnapper asks for a ransom either. He really adores you. I'm quite jealous." Soubi's friend had kicked off his shoes and the smell of feet slightly tinted the room.

"Don't mock me. I'm really grateful if you honestly helped me get away from that house, but if you're only going to make fun of me I will make you leave." Ritsuka was scared, not thinking if he should be talking to this man. He wasn't afraid of him, he just didn't know if it had been alright just because he said he knew Soubi.

"You think I don't know Soubi, right? Has he gone shopping with you yet? Did you know that that man cannot compare prices to save his life? And he'll sit up and watch people sleep. Sometimes he'll pretend to read, but really his are always on the sleeping person." The man had almost his right on the nose, Ritsuka didint know that Soubi watched people sleep. How scary...

"I'm sorry, Sir, I shouldn't have been rude…" Ritsuka stared out the window, as if mesmerized by the cold white fire drifting quickly through the heavens and skies. It was really beautiful, the wood window frame embossed in gold, and steamy windows. The glass on the outside hed a large amount of frost on it.

"Ah, not 'Sir' that's too polite. I'm Kio. Just Kio. Alrighty then?"

"Yes…" Ritsuka felt incredibly tired, and he was freezing cold. After a moment he realized that his head was aching uncontrollably. His eyes felt like they should be bleeding, and the room began to darken, like when you poke yourself in the eye and hold it, closing in a circle, then leaving the rest black. He felt slightly dizzy, and the floor came up and met his cheek, and he jerked. He hadn't realized he was falling. He was terrified of falling. Not heights, but falling. An odd high-pitched ringing noise resounded through the boy's ears.

As warm hands shook him, he drifted off into the land of darkness, where no nightmares can meet you. Sadly, in this land of darkness you will also never find those seldom beautiful dreams. The drams where you find the person you love the most in the world, and they find you. The kind of dream both parties have the same the night it occurs. The tedoius dreams that dug up a forgotton past. The dreams that you can escape into...

**Authors note: Ok now you REALLY have to wait until Friday, unless I write the next chapter in study hall. But I got inspired-ha. Anyway, I'm sleepy, goodnight, and Sweet Nightmares!**

**yaoiXXX**


	6. Why Can This Man Not Understand?

**Authors Note: I totally blew the deadline, I'm really sorry! Please forgive me, and I'll try to get two chapters up before the holidays! Thank you!**

**Haruhi Komodori: Totally. He's completely in love with Ritsuka, he just hasn't told him yet. He is still a human though, and what human DOESN'T want to fuck?**

**Paigeion: O wow. Sorry. I have a super cramped lifestyle. I get on the comp for an hour after school, I do my home work, eat dinner, shower, work on home work, usually call someone, do homework, and then take a brake around midnight. By then most nights I have a little free time, so I write my stories then. Usually I can only stay up until I get tired, but that's not often.**

**black.is.the.new.blood: Sometimes I'll get an idea but my story won't be that far on in the plot, so I always type it out ands save it to a new document.**

**troublesome67: Thank you again, keep up the good work!**

**XIXDeadGirlXIX: O my gosh, thank you so much. That made me so excited I could pee my pants! But, I wont, because then I would never get on my computer because my desk area would probably stink…Anyway, I can never find anything good that was like my kind of story. I'm not sorry to say that I love the tie-me-up/tie-me-down kind of thing. Thank you so much!**

**I thought that was her name but I saw the anime a long time ago and I'd forgotten.**

**PixieDragonGirl77: Thank you very much! By the end it will be less confusing. Honest.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

Soubi had gotten home the next day, to find Kio attending to a very unconscious Ritsuka. He asked what happened, and was replied with, "Nice to see you again too."

"How long has he been unconscious? What happened?" Soubi checked the boys pulse and changed the wet washcloth that had been put on the boy's head. Then he turned to the man that had helped them out of the city.

"Not too long. Last night. It's just a fever. Nothing to worry about, you love won't die. Do you have a match?" He had pulled out the metal cigarette case, hoping to have one of the small tobacco filled sticks.

"Ah, only if you give me one. I haven't had one in days."

As they lit the small stress relievers Ritsuka started sweating.

"Do you think the fever will break before tomorrow? We need to get out of here; I already got the tickets for the train…" After answering a butt load of his own questions, Soubi lapsed into silence.

"You really picked up a keeper, huh?" The sarcasm and laughter was evident in Kio's voice as he took a drag of his cigarette. The footlocker they had been sitting on suddenly was only occupied by one, and Kio had miraculously appeared on the floor, stunned.

"What was that you were saying about how much of a charming boy he is then?" Soubi sat with his legs crossed, a small smile playing across his face. Kio looked completely stunned at his usually completely composed friend.

"Well, you love who you love I guess…" Kio stood up and brushed off his backside.

"Oh? Well I'm glad you think of it like that. I was actually very terrified asking you. I didn't know what you'd think of me." The words shocked Kio, but he couldn't think of that at the moment. The boy had woken.

"Ritsuka!" The small boy shot out of the bed, not seeming to remember where he was. His eyes went wide for the moment, and then realization hit his face.

"Oh…I'm sorry…" His once tense shoulders sagged and he sighed, rubbing one hand over his sweat soaked face.

Soubi smiled at the boy and pulled back the covers on the bed.

"Please get back in bed; you have a very high fever." Soubi silently walked away from the bed to retrieve a glass of water for the boy, only to turn and find Ritsuka straitening the covers again.

"Please, don't worry over it…It happens often. I'm very sorry that I bla-"

"Don't be an idiot, kid! Soubi is really worried about you, and all you can do is say 'Don't worry!' like you're some kind of adult that needs nobody. Listen, kid, you have two adults that are gonna fill your life with joy and pleasantries. Now grow up and be a kid." Kio's voice resounded through the air as he nonchalantly waved off the boy's protests.

Ritsuka's fists clenched as he listened to the man. He restrained himself from snapping at Kio, who knew nothing of how he was forced to leave his childhood behind when he lost his memories. Why did this man have the right to tell him what he should do? Granted the fact that he did have an extremely large part in saving him, what did he know of Ritsuka?

The boy did not lash out. He did not yell, fuss, or scream. He didn't even make a noise. He accepted the water from Soubi and thanked him almost silently and he sat back down on the edge of the bed. His head hurt very much. It felt like there were bees inside, under his scalp trying to get out.

"In the morning Kio won't be here." The whisper made Ritsuka's eyes shoot open. Soubi had sat down next to him and he hadn't noticed at all. The older mad had leaned in, and yet the boy still hadn't noticed. The smile on Soubi's face showed a promise. "So go to sleep for now, alright?"

Ritsuka nodded, and then got under the covers.

"What'd you tell him?" Kio lit another cigarette and sat back down on the foot locker.

"I promised him something. It's a secret." Soubi dug into his pocket for a minute and found a long ribbon. Presently, he tied up his hair into a messy pony tail, and Ritsuka couldn't help but stare for a moment.

The man was beautiful with his hair down, yet he was also amazing with his hair up. Not to be discovered, Ritsuka turned over and tried closing his eyes.

**Authors Note: I'm really sorry its so short and it was such a crappy chapter. I've had so much shit! I'm fifteen and I get to take my older sister out to lunch. I've never been able to do that by myself before. I'm really excited because we're going later.**


	7. The Boy's First Kiss And Railroad Sweets

**Authors Note: O my god these chapters are short. I will be posting a new story soon, a sort of play on Lewis Carol's 'Alice's Adventures In Wonderland And Through The Looking-Glass'**

**I don't have the time to do individual thank-you's, I'm sorry!**

**Thank you all!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

What Soubi had said was true. When Ritsuka woke up in the morning, Kio was gone, and Soubi was lying in the bed next to him. When he opened his eyes he had come face to face with Soubi, the older man's arm slung around Ritsuka's waist. They were pressed close together and Ritsuka knew if he moved he would surely wake the older man up.

So the boy stayed, terrified to even breathe too heavy for fear of waking the man. They had been lying on their sides, and the older man rolled, causing him to pull Ritsuka on top of him so Soubi was now on his back.

Ritsuka shuddered at the amount of muscle the man had, not just on his toned stomach but also on his heavy arms. The small boy then realized the older mans hand was resting firmly on his behind, causing an extremely violet shade of red to spread from his scalp to the base of his neck. Ritsuka closed his eyes, trying to calm himself, but when he opened them, he found himself staring into Soubi's.

Soubi's eyes were laced with sleep, so much that he looked as if he might be sleeping yet his eyes were open. He then pulled Ritsuka toward him and kissed the small boy. Ritsuka was shocked by the contact, but also that the older man had seen it was him and still proceeded to kiss him.

When Soubi deepened the kiss, Ritsuka made no move to protest and that in its self urged Soubi on. The older man sat up, holding onto Ritsuka and only stopping when he almost had suffocated the boy. Ritsuka slid to the floor, face red, clutching his small chest. He was panting heavily, as was Soubi.

"Ritsuka…I'm sorry, I just…" Soubi started, realizing how embarrassed the boy was.

Ritsuka held up his hand stopping the man.

"You were asleep…" The quiet voice almost stopped Soubi's heart, and relief flooded into the older man. Ritsuka didn't sound disgusted nor did he sound angry. He sounded breathless, excited, yet the ex-Nazi knew what that thing called boundaries was.

Ritsuka promptly stood and got him self a glass of water from the pitcher on the night stand, then went to look out the window.

When he was sure his voice was stable, Ritsuka said to the dressing man, "It's stopped snowing. Please, what time is it?"

"Ah," Soubi paused and looked at his silver pocket watch, "It's almost eight in the morning. We should leave soon."

"Yes."

Ritsuka ate nothing at breakfast that morning claiming his stomach hurt.

When lunchtime came around they had been on the train for three hours.

"What are you going to eat?" Soubi asked Ritsuka, while the boy stared out the window, looking at the passing fields.

"I'm not hungry, I'm sorry…" The absent minded answer was heartless, and Soubi jolted the boy from his day dream by grabbing him rather roughly by the upper arm, causing the boy to gasp and jerk away, then to shrink back.

Soubi leaned forward, until his smiling face was only an inch away from the boy's and said, "You're eating or I'm going to have to force you to eat. That won't be good, darling…"

Ritsuka nodded quickly, his eyes wide as milk saucers. As much as he loved any form of physical contact with man he just couldn't see himself being held down as Soubi force-fed him. Ritsuka was glad when he was aloud to order only hot tea and a sort of cherry fritter that the older man had cheerily recommended.

The boy ate slowly, and only took a bite of the thing once in a while, and Soubi wondered why he didn't eat as much as a boy his age should. He wondered if that was why Ritsuka was as light as he was and why he was that thin. Had his mother been starving him? The older man clenched his fist in a small fit of fury, digging his fingernails into the palms of his hands. he then straitened of course, not wanting to show Ritsuka that he was angry.

After their lunch of fritters and tea, the older man produced from his large coat pocket two strawberry and milk flavored lollypop. Soubi said the treats were curtsey of Mister Kio. Ritsuka, who hadn't had any kind of sweet-thing other then the fritter earlier since before his brother left had uncertainly taken the small delicacy only to find it was exceedingly delicious.

The train had stopped at least thrice that afternoon and now the sun was setting. Soubi instructed Ritsuka to lie down on the long train booth's seat opposite his and the two would sleep through the night, only after Soubi locked the doors.

The dim light flickered off as Soubi flipped a switch near the door.

"Good night, Ritsuka, I'll see you in the morning." At these words Ritsuka blushed but replied.

"Yes. Good night." When Ritsuka closed his eyes, a small kiss was pressed to his lips.

**Authors Note: I know it was horrid, but since I've blown the last two deadlines I've set I figured that I'd give you a little action. Please review, tall me if it was horrid.**


	8. Holiday Special and Preview For Another

**Authors Note: Yes, this is a Christmas/New Years special. I just was dying to write it….. YES, it is a sort of preview for another story. I love writing….**

**Thank you to all reviewers!**

**O my god, please don't flame because the first smex scene will be like thirty chapters from now!**

**Anyway, like I said they can't sex until they get out of the country and by that time both will be totally agreeing to it. Or maybe not :O there might be possible 'rape.' It's so not rape. Every one knows Ritsuka so wants it….**

**By the way, this special has absolutely NOTHING to do with the story!**

**Don't get confused! It is in present time! Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

Ritsuka say at his computer desk typing rapidly. He had taken up writing in an online journal so that his therapist could have access to whatever posts he wanted her to, but other posts he could set as 'private.' Ritsuka liked the idea very much, and even Soubi had suggested it.

Christmas had just passed and the boy frowned as his world was going too fast. It was killing the small teenager, by dissipating his days quickly. He felt like he was sitting on the remote to his life and was accidentally pushing the 'Fast Forward' button.

The silence of his bedroom was killing him, and he quickly put a CD into the new stereo system he had received from his grand mother in America (1) who had recently started communication to him, via email.

She had un-mercilessly told every single known relative of his in America, and he had been sent an endless supply of gifts and Christmas Cards. Ritsuka didn't even know he had this many relatives in America, but he sent them all E-Cards with help from his Nana. (2) Yes, his American grandmother. (3)

He hadn't seen Soubi since last night, who had left around midnight last night, Christmas.

The older man hadn't seemed too pleased that the boy was getting as much unwanted attention as he was.

As the CD, 'Dying Is Your Latest Fashion' by 'Escape The Fate.' It was an American group, whose genre was mostly Screamo. His two favorites on the track were number nine and number eleven. Alright, so he loved all the tracks.

It had been his American cousin that had sent him the CD, and he had to say of all of his kin, she was the one to understand him the best. She was the first in his family that he told of his sexuality. He had only told her since he had checked out her blog and found that she was bisexual herself, and an extremist supporter of gay rights (4). He had called her a few times when he was lonely and he couldn't get a hold of Soubi. Her voice was musical, calming and she always seemed to understand. She sent him in the mail a few pictures of herself, and Ritsuka was amazed to find how different she was. One family picture of her family and herself had caused him the most reaction, her mother a redhead, her older sister the same, her younger sister light brown haired. The girl's father was almost as dark of a brunette as she, but her hair was so black it was almost blue. He was glad to be seeing her in person soon, as it was her dream to come to Japan, and as a return gift he had offered her a plane ticket and told her to come. (5)

He was excited that she had lost her ears and didn't even try to shield the factor, even though she was only in junior high. The girl was so much alike to him he thought of her as a twin.

He looked down at the cell phone Soubi had given him and flipped it open, intent on messaging the man. He didn't get to open the text box, as there was a sharp rap on his window. He flew out of his chair to see the man standing out in the cold as he waited for the teen to unlock the window.

"Soubi…" The almost silent whisper was enough to stop the older mans heart from beating as he removed his coat and scarf and returned to the boy, patiently waiting for his fighter. When the older man kissed him, Ritsuka realized he hadn't told Soubi about his cousin. He almost forgot as the older mans tongue slipped into his mouth, causing Ritsuka to shudder. As the man screamed about not falling asleep in the background, (6) Ritsuka was getting ready to pass out with anticipation.

After a short make out session, the boy said to the older man, "My American cousin is coming to stay with me for a while. Will you take me to the airport tomorrow to pick her up?"

"Of course I will." The two had managed to make it onto the bed, and Soubi seemed intent on spending the night tonight. Not to have sex, he assured Ritsuka, but just to hold the boy for comfort while he slept.

After turning the screaming men down low and putting the stereo onto 'Repeat CD,' the boy and man went to sleep. (7)

At the airport Ritsuka urgently looked for his cousin.

"Do you have a picture of her?" When Ritsuka handed over a colored picture of two girls in what seemed a store for those who loved complete and utter darkness. (8)

"The one with the black hair is her. The girl with the blue hair is her ex girlfriend.(9)" Ritsuka's answer was absentminded as he continued to search for the girl.

"Excuse me, Ritsuka?" The voice seemed all too familiar and Ritsuka squeaked as he turned and saw his cousin with her bag and her purse.

"Michelle?" The girl nodded, and Soubi reached for her bag.(10)

"May I take this for you?" His hand still extended, she shook her head.(11)

"No sweetie (12), but thank you. Are you Soubi?" Michelle looked up, noting how tall the man was.

"Yes."

"It's nice to meet you." She directed her next comment to Ritsuka though, "Would you mind if I used the restroom before we leave here?"

When Ritsuka nodded the girl smiled, showing vampiric fangs (13). It was then that Soubi actually took in her outfit. She was wearing knee length boots that brought her a foot from the ground, fishnet stockings, a plaid skirt with black panels that were unzipped showing her thighs, she had on a black top that had 'Fuck' in little silver cursive letters, a spiked wristband on her left arm, black jelly bracelets on her right arm, an assortment of rings, and a necklace of green diamonds, the ensemble only to be topped off by a dog collar with tags that inscribed 'Michelle'.

She reached into the pocket of her skirt and produced three cherry lollypops. (14)

"Do either of you want one?" She held out the candies and waited to be either taken up or turned down.

When both men and she all had sucker sticks protruding from their faces they started off, heading to the bathroom then to home.

Once at the residence of the young boy, she was ushered upstairs before she could have contact with her other relatives.

"You don't want to meet them yet…." Ritsuka's face showed anger at the thought of his mother bad-mouthing or even harming _his_ Michelle. He thought of the girl as his twin sister. It was fine; Soubi said on their way home that the two looked like carbon copies of each other. (15)

**Authors Note: Smut involving Seph and Cloud will be evolving soon in upcoming story. Anybody interested might just check out when I post it… ;D**

**(1)I have no fucking clue if Ritsuka even HAS a grandmother, letalone an American Grandmother….**

**(2)I call my grandmother Nana. It means little, which fits her, because she's tiny.**

**(3)Pssh, I am so totally the Michelle character….My middle name is Michelle XD **

**(4)Yes, I do have those clothes….**

**(5)I am pansexual/bisexual, and yes, I am a Gay/Bi rights Activist.**

**(6)The ninth track on the CD 'Dying Is Your Favorite Fashion' by 'Escape The Fate' sings (screams, lol) about a man telling the lead singer not to fall asleep because he will never wake up, because Freddy Kruger… (Spazz out from fear of NOT wanting to think of the freaky dude…) will kill him so he needs to get out before he does…or something. I don't remember. **

**(7)I so can't sleep with out my CD on. I love this freaking band!**

**(8)Hot Topic! WOOT! I love that store….**

**(9)My ex always had a different hair color.**

**(10)Say 'NO' to Chivalry….**

**(11)I freaking hate it when people try and carry my shit for me….**

**I'm not a pussy; I can do it myself….**

**(12) I call everybody 'Sweetie' or 'Love'.**

**(13)O baby, False Vampire fangs are amazing.**

**(14)Cherry is my favorite!**

**(15) I look exactly like my ancestor King Ludwig the third of Germany. Look him up xD Seriously, I look just fucking like him….**


	9. The Doll's Heart And The Boy's Fatigue

**Authors Note: O my gosh, I would have posted another chapter yesterday but I was puking my fucking guts out. I'm Sick and it blows. Like to the point where I had to promise my mom that once I'm done writing this chapter I'm going back to bed. And I JUST woke up.**

**Thank you to all reviewers!**

**Except, of course one. I restate that all flames will be giggled at and responded to quite rudely.**

**Dear PhoenixStar87,**

**I would like to ask if you even read half of the authors note.**

**I do have spell check; you're just too idiotic and assumed that because I have a few typos here and there that I still don't have it.**

**The fact that the story is set into the time of the Holocaust is perfectly fine. You however did not read the Authors note. Therefore you apparently did not know that the last chapter has absolutely nothing to do with this story and was just a holiday special.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

When Ritsuka woke up the next morning the boy found that he was alone in the train booth, Soubi nowhere to be found. The boy assumed that the man was probably doing something with some one….That was another matter. The boy quickly opened his old messenger bag and pulled out the lone book and a pen. The book was the old worn out Journal that his older brother had given the boy.

As he scribbled down what was going on in his life he didn't notice the man sliding the box open.

"What are you writing?" When the voice resounded through the box, Ritsuka jumped, smearing ink on the page.

"Ah….Its nothing…" Ritsuka quickly put the book away before Soubi could inquire further.

"I'm sorry, I checked but there is no place for you to dress but here." When Ritsuka nodded, Soubi smiled.

The older man remained standing, but walked to the racks above Ritsuka's head, and pulled down a satchel. When he opened it, he pulled out two shirts, two sets of slacks, clean undergarments, and two pair of socks. He handed a set to Ritsuka, pulled down the shade of the window and started to undress.

Ritsuka who was trying not to stare, also, quickly undressed and redressed. He had turned around embarrassed, thankful the older man was working on dressing himself.

At the next stop, Ritsuka stared out the window, seeing the people get on and off the train. One small child being pulled by the hand by her mother dropped a doll, and reached back to get it only to be dragged further and further away.

"Are you very bored?" The voice jolted his eyes away from the window.

"No. A girl just lost her doll…It was rather upsetting…She looked like she loved it…" The sentence was said and his eyes mechanically turned back to the window.

"Are you hungry or anything?" At the shake of the boys head Soubi huffed and sat back. He wanted to make sure the boy had everything he needed.

"I wish I could get it back to her…."

"What?"

"Oh, the doll…I'm sorry…I must have thought aloud…" The blush spread lightly across Ritsuka's face.

"I don't mind, I like your voice." The blush deepened and spread down even to his neck.

"Oh…Thank you…." The boy felt was embarrassed, not knowing how to respond to what Soubi had said.

As people passed the doll Ritsuka thought he saw the little girl's face in the crowd, and realized she was coming back to get it. This time she was dragging her mother with behind her. As the little girl picked up her doll Ritsuka smiled.

"Ritsuka?" When Soubi saw the boys expression turn from uncertainty to a smile he wondered what the boy saw out the window.

"She came back and got it…"

"Oh. That's good, I'm glad she did." Soubi smiled and leaned against the wall of the car.

The ghost that was Ritsuka's brief smile had vanished, and the boy suddenly seemed tired. He felt completely exhausted. The feeling that someone had beaten him with a large sack washed over him. His arms and legs felt serenely heavy, and a throbbing headache had set in. All this had occurred in only moments.


	10. The Man Hopes To have Figured It Out

**Authors Note: Pssssh. Tomorrow school's back in. I wonder how many teachers are going to scream at me. Probly all of them, oh well. I'm probly not gonna make it unless Brett (my absolute hero) is there. He's so amazing. Like, the dude got me this super beautiful watch for Christmas. ::uber blush:: **

**Anyway, I'm sorry to all my fans ::giggle:: I shortened the last chapter because that one stupid-fuck. It'll be ok, I swear. This chapter will be short as well, and I;m sorry, but I want to post it before I go to bed.**

**Thanks to all that wish me well.**

**Thanks to all that review.**

**When my life stops being all shitty I'll start doing the personalized thingy again, but right now I'm facing a sever depression streak that I have to hide.**

**Yes, stupid.**



**Onto the fanfiction…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

Ritsuka didn't remember when he had passed out, or when Soubi had taken him to an inn. He did remember that they had reached the stop to get to the next town, which needed to be travelled to by foot. He had woken up in a dimly lit room, with only a fireplace to give light.

He was sweating, and he heaved as if to vomit. He had woken up to once again find Soubi and himself sharing a bed, and not wanting to create an unpleasant situation for the man he shot out of the bed. The window was flung open and he hoped no person stood beneath it as he wretched out what seemed to be some form of the small luncheon he had eaten that afternoon. A moment later, Soubi was behind him, pulling the dark hair from the boy's face, resting his warm hand on Ritsuka's back.

The pain and discomfort of vomiting brought tears spilling forth from the young boys eyes, and Soubi murmured words to calm Ritsuka down.

"Just relax Ritsuka. Shhh…You're alright." When the content from the boy's stomach was completely gone, he started to dry-heave, then the boy calmed, wiping his mouth on his hand.

"Are you alright?" When Ritsuka silently nodded, Soubi wrapped his arms around the boy.

"Please tell me when you're feeling ill. If you keep passing out I'm going to die of a panic attack."

"I'm sorry…" The remorse was evident in his voice, and Soubi rubbed a thin shoulder, trying for some sort of comfort.

"Please tell me what's wrong? I can help you if you let me try." It was a small plea, and Ritsuka desperately wished that he had informed the man sooner, so that he wasn't as much of a burden to the man.

"I…I just…" He didn't know what to say, and he was flustered beyond words. He tried again his face going red, "I'm not really sure….I'm fine one moment, and the next moment I feel as though I'm going to die from exhaustion."

Soubi picked the boy up and set him into a cushioned chair, then brought the reddened Ritsuka a cup of cool water.

"Thank you for telling me. How long have you felt like this?"

"A while…Since before you came and took me away from…there…" The boy's eyes held permanent contact with something apparently extremely interesting on the floor.

"Alright. Now can you tell me why you have such an aversion to eating?" Soubi smiled at the boy, tilting his head to the side.

If it were possible, the boy's eyes grew larger and his face redder.

"I don't have an aversion to eating. I just can't eat a lot. I don't think I've ever been one for eating much."

"Well did you eat a lot as a child?" The boy's eyes, for the first time, caught and held contact with the man.

"I don't know. I lost my memory." Ritsuka chewed at his lip.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry, I had no idea." A look of complete sadness washed over the man's face, and it made Ritsuka want to cry.

"Please, don't be sorry. You had no way of knowing."

The look disappeared as Soubi's face straitened, "Well, I'm very sure that if you, Love, were to practice better eating habits, then you would be a lot healthier. If I'm wrong, then I hope I figure out what the problem is, seeing as how much I like you."


	11. The Man's Love, The Boy's Lost

**Authors Note: Pssssh. Ok, thank you all really. All your reviews kept me going after another bout of….badness. Yes, badness. I'd rather not display it all though, so I'm sorry. Thank you for caring so much. I realize it'd just suck really badly if I went and died without finishing this long-ass story but it really means something to me that most of you read the authors note.**

**Thank you all reviewers, and maybe in later chapters I'll do the individual thingy again.**

**Yes. That was sort of a confession on Soubi's part.**

**I wonder what'll happen next.**

**By the way, Rest In Peace, Casey Calvert of Hawthorne Heights.**

**They get me through everything and he died in his sleep…**

**I cried for three strait days.**

**Back to me….I figured I had a moment of happiness today, so I'm giving you a little bit of fluff…………….And a kind of disappointment.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

As Ritsuka lay sleeping in the bed, Soubi tried to figure out why the boy was so…distant.

It hurt the older man that the boy didn't think he could trust Soubi. It was understandable. He had just kidnapped the young man, forcing him out of his home. Out of his abusive home. Why didn't the boy understand how much Soubi loved him? It was something he would just have to convince Ritsuka of in time….He then realized that he never actually told the boy that he loved him.

"O shit…." At these words Ritsuka's eyes snapped open and he sat strait up.

"Are you alright?" Sleep was still quite obvious in the young mans face as Soubi crossed the room.

The boy nodded rubbing his eye with the back of his balled up fist.

When he looked up again, Soubi was smiling.

"I love you, you know." A small shocked look covered the boys face for an instant, and then it was gone.

"No, I didn't know…thank you for telling me…" His face was covered in the reddest of blushes now, and Soubi tired to ignore the fact that he knew the boy didn't love him as he leaned down.

He took the frail boy's lips in a gentle kiss, and as the boy opened his mouth to receive the kiss he wrapped his arms around Soubi's neck deepening it.

As Soubi tasted the small boy, he realized he had never tasted anything sweeter. He wrapped his arms around the boy so he could deepen the kiss further, not wanting to let the sweet innocent little lips desert him.

When he tried and Ritsuka let his tongue slip into his mouth it was as if he was in pure bliss, then he remembered where they were and broke off the kiss. It had left them both completely breathless, and both were panting heavily and Soubi crossed the room.

"We can't do anything like this yet…." With this the older man left the room, leaving Ritsuka to completely misinterpret the Soubi's hasty retreat.

"Did…..did I do something wrong?" Pain spread across the boy's face as he got off the bed and huddled onto the floor near the head of the bed. He felt completely alone as he knew that the older man would be scarcely seen that day.

"I'm sorry…." His little voice cracked into the room, and with no one to accept or deny his apologies, he started to cry. Not the kind of tears of that of a young child that didn't get his exact wishes, but that of a lost soul. The tears were the lonely, desperate, fearful, lonesome tears that so many have cried as memories played out over the sands of time.

The tears of an old soul, one that was hurt and depressed; the tears of the man sentenced to Hades for all eternity after being wrongly accused.

As Soubi walked through the snow he hung his head in pain and regret. He hadn't meant to kiss the boy; he had just wanted the boy to know his feelings. He couldn't help it…Ritsuka was enticing in everything he did. He was the miracle that Soubi had wished for all his life. Soubi was not one to do some thing as reckless as kidnap a boy in times of war and try to make the boy love him….

Soubi sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his neck.

He remembered the first time he had seen the boy. He was patrolling a certain street and he looked up to the sky, but his view was blocked by the large house with the tiny attic window that the boy was staring out. Then a hand, a woman's hand reached down and snatched a handful of the boy's beautiful black locks and dragged him away from the window. Soubi didn't remember ho long he waited for the boy to reappear, but when he did he had a large gash on his forehead and his eye was bruised to the point of swelling closed, but still the boy stared up looking at the stars, as if a god himself would come down and save him.

Ritsuka sat huddled into that corner until Soubi returned, only a half hour later. Ritsuka's head was resting against the wall and when Soubi bent down to pick the boy up he flinched.

"I'm sorry. Will you let me explain to you why I cannot touch you the way I want to?" Soubi's voice was low and sad, his tone mimicking that of a funeral director's.

At the boy's nod, Soubi stooped and picked the boy up, carrying him over to the chair and placing Ritsuka onto his lap as he sat down.

"We cannot be in this wretched country if we want to survive. You, Love, are probably in the bingo book, the book of people to be killed from your region. So we must go as far away as possible, and since I have relations in the United States I would take us there, but there is currently a war reining there as well. Before we can….be free, we must at least be in China. Please forgive me. Earlier….I couldn't help myself and I feared if I stayed in the room you would not like me as much as you do. You would probably hate me. Please forgive me, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka nodded with relief, his voice lost with the tears that flowed still from before. He turned on the older man's lap, and dug his face into Soubi's neck, wrapping his arms around the older man.

"Thank you for understanding….I love you, Ritsuka." The sigh escaped from Ritsuka's lips before he could stop himself. It was quiet, almost nonexistent, dry from crying.

"I love you, too."


	12. Pleasuring The Hand, And The Boy's Heart

**Authors Note: I'm ill. Seriously my doctor molested me yester day (lol, not really, he just stuffed his hands down my shirt to hear my heart beat) and he squeezed my neck like, really hard to see if my glands were swollen. Which they ARE, my entire neck is swollen and it feels like somebody punched me in the throat…. And after all of this he said all I have is a virus…. Bastard….**

**My Super Hero-Dork Brett is so cool. He called me when I was trying to sleep this morning and he talked to my mom. She came upstairs and woke me up and told me to call that amazing boy. It's too bad he's younger then me. :\ I don't like younger boys…. But if it was Brett I think it would be fine…Oh well. When I called him back he picked up and when I said 'hello,'**

**he was all like 'Aww, Im sorry. If you need to you should go back to sleep.' it was so sweet I stayed on the phone with him for like three hours.**

**William got his Yellow belt and left me trailling in the dust behind him. I'm so sad. Heather and Fish got into a fight and arent friends amymore...That compleatly sucks. Heather got her green belt last week and so did Mike. Taylor got her Yellow belt and I'm feeling very left out.**

**Fish says he'll teach me how to play guitar. 333**

**Alot and stuff. I'm really tired...I'm reading Gravitation Remix. 3**

**Yes, thank you all. I went back and read my story and was like**

'**Oh, what happens next?!?' **

**I'm such a dork….**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

As Ritsuka realized what he told the man he almost passed out. Saying that was something he had strived not to, and here he had gone and let it slip past his throat before he could gulp it down. Those words made people turn away from him in disgust at his sexual orientation. Why had he admittedly become a homosexual? He thought he had fallen in love with his best friend, who was a Jewish boy, and very in love with the girl that lived above the flower shop. He hadn't meant to fall in love with the boy. It was probably not love; just a feeling of adoration because the way the boy had treated the girl. Ritsuka wished he could be that way, and have a boy give that feeling of love to him.

As Soubi pulled Ritsuka's hand into his own, the older man smiled.

"Do you really? Thank you so much, Ritsuka!" The red that stained into Ritsuka's face as he nodded furiously was very understandable, especially since he had just declared love to this man that he knew nothing about spare a name.

Soubi didn't hate Ritsuka. He didn't push the boy away. He didn't try to stop him. He held him there, on his lap. Lovingly. The thought amazed Ritsuka in its self.

"I love you, Ritsuka." He wanted to kiss the boy, but settled on just playing on the boy's fingers for the moment.

When he brought the boy's hands to his lips the boy jumped, as if shocked by an electric spark. He first placed a kiss on every one of the sections of his fingers above the knuckles. Then the segments below the knuckles. Then the segments below the knuckles below those. Soubi paused in his tracks, inhaling to calm himself. He took the smallest finger into his mouth and bit down gently, causing the boy to gasp and flinch a fistful of the older man's britches.(1) Had he tried he surely could have fit the boy's entire hand down into the crevices of his mouth, seeing the slimness of it.

"Ah…Soubi…" The voice was tiny and rasped as the man licked at another finger. When the man looked into the boy's beautiful eyes he was almost shocked to find them lowered with a look of complete pleasure. What was more the boy was heaving lightly, excited by the treatment his hand was getting.

Soubi ventured in for only a moment to place a small kiss onto the boy's mouth, but he didn't linger any longer then he had to. He knew if he did he would defiantly take the boy, no matter what his brain and conscience told him. He knew that by the time he and Ritsuka had reached Asia they would both be aching with need, but in the time that was before they could bed, Ritsuka would surely become at least a year older.

He went back to the boy's hand after the second he had taken to press his lips against the boy's mouth. As the boy clenched his hand into a fist he held on for dear life. He didn't want Soubi to ever stop. He dreaded what would come of his hand when the former Nazi soldier got to the last finger. Would the man start again? Would he stop? Would he pull Ritsuka's other hand up and miss _it_ so brilliantly?

As if Soubi was telepathic he finished and pulled the boy's other hand. It immediately opened and was brought to the man's lips. This time, Soubi faced the palm of the hand and slightly bit into the slim plumpness that was the under side of the boy's thin fingers.

Ritsuka gasped; the sound ending with a greatly enjoyed moan as his hand shot up and grabbed into the shoulder of Soubi's shirt. The silk almost made Ritsuka moan as it was comparable to Soubi's tongue, weaving pleasurly little strokes into the threads that were Ritsuka's fingers.

"Ah…" the moan was a sufficient clue to Soubi not to stop as he finished the right hand. He immediately placed both the boy's hands at his sides and kissed the boy deeply, then stood up. As much as he didn't want to stop, he had to. When he stood, he lifted the boy with him, who simply wrapped his legs around the tall man.

"Ritsuka, we have to keep going." The pain of loss in the boy sliding to the floor was evident and he kissed the boy once more.

"Yes…leaving…right…" He had left the boy flustered and Soubi smiled at the way the boy wandered for a minute before going to collect his things. His journal, and of course his bag.

They shuffled out of the inn room fully packed, but they didn't leave for the last kiss they would receive that day. As Ritsuka was about to walk out of the room Soubi stopped him and placed a quick chaste kiss upon the boy's lips that would leave him flushed in the face for at least ten minutes.

**Authors Note: Im ****so fucking tired...**

**I'm like seriously in need of sleep and stuff. Bwahhh...**


	13. Don't Be Jelous, Its Freezing Here

**Authors Note: Okie dokie. I had to pause between chapters and go down downstairs and run on the tread mill. Then I got coffee. The tread mill is in the basement, and MY computer is on the second floor. Oh yea. So about the whole, Brett calling me thing. Apparently he asked me if I wanted to go to the library, and I was like 'the turkey baster is near the oven'**

**I forgot! The –(1)- from the other chapter- Britches are pants. I guess people don't know that…**

**Thanks all of you.**

**Pssh. I didn't know how that last chapter was gonna turn out. It was sort of smut, even though it was really clean. Make sense? Yea, me neither.**

**Anyway, it was really hard deciding that they would have to wait a year…that's at least more then six chapters::Sobs::**

**And I personally love writing porn. You guys aren't the only ones missing out here!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

They had to walk to get to the next train station. At least they knew how long it was going to take. A day and they would have to spend the night in a field. That would surely be terrible, so they when and bought a large tent. Large because the man at the counter would probably been suspicious if two men bought a small tent and only one cot. They explained to the man they needed a large tent and a large cot, the cheapest big ones they could get.

As the man eyed them he nodded, his eyes squinting slightly to look at the pair.

As the two left the shop Soubi shot the man at the counter a dirty look. But why, you ask? Because the man had been staring at Ritsuka for far too long. The boy hadn't noticed, but Soubi's eyes had, those amazingly brilliant eyes had caught the direction of the others and he now glared at the shopkeeper.

That night Ritsuka was shivering profusely as Soubi had gone to find fire wood. Never in his life had he been so cold. He sat on the edge of the large cot, trying not to fall off. He was rocking backing forth, hoping that he would not die from the cold.

He had his tiny arms crossed over himself, in a desperate attempt at not getting frost bite. He was not, of course, with out some sort of covering. Soubi had wrapped the boy into a large cocoon before he left, but the cold was seeping through the blankets. He was tired and freezing and he wanted desperately just to sleep, but the man had made him promise he would not. You see, if you fall asleep when it's freezing outside, you will die if you're camping. The cold makes you much more tired, and because the human body temperatures lower when sleeping you die without ever knowing what happened, because your body doesn't produce anti-freeze when you sleep.

When the older man returned he found an almost sleeping Ritsuka, trying to stay awake with all the force the little body could. He gently slapped at the boy's cheek.

"Ritsuka, don't go to sleep. Let me get a fire lit, please." He shook the boy gently and the boy startled, woke up.

"Yea." He was still shivering, his teeth chattering loudly as Soubi went outside to set up the fire.

When it was lit he pulled the boy out, and with Soubi's help stood him by the fire to warm him. When he brought the boy back into the cabin, the older man had had to pick the boy up as he had fallen asleep standing by the heat.

As they lay in the cot, Soubi found himself being put to sleep once again by the small boy's breathing. They slept very close, since the boy had clutched onto him as the ex-soldier had laid him down.

"I love you."

A soft whimper was heard from the boy's lips and Soubi's arm was pulled closer to the boy's body. As his eyes closed, he placed a kiss upon the boy's forehead.

**Author's Note: I'm fucking going to bed….Good night, bitches… I love you all. I'm sorry the chapter was so short….**


	14. Before Morning We'll Have Kid Gloves

**Authors Note: Pssh. Karate was amazing. I realized that my Kata I'm doing is amazingly easy, but only if Mike helps me. Wonder why…? Anyway…I might get my belt soon. ::So Happy:: Poor Brett, I had to say no to going to his house again. T.T **

**Anyway, I wont be able to post chapters any time soon cause school. I have to 'buckle down,' and such.**

**Thank you all. I can't skip school, 'cause my virus**

**isn't that serious.**

**Bastards…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

Sitting up, Ritsuka noticed Soubi wasn't in the cot, or the tent. It wasn't morning yet, but it was warmer then it had been the night before. He sort of panicked then he calmed himself, hoping the man hadn't abandoned him. He slowly got up and put the boots that the older man had given him onto his tiny feet.

Then he went to the tent's door and peeked out, scarred to find the man no longer there. To Ritsuka's relief the older man was sitting by the fire, poking at the ashes with a stick.

"Soubi…?" He stayed hiding his body, his head only slightly peeping out of the tent. For some reason unknown to the boy, he was nervous, and completely terrified. When the man looked around and saw the boy, he smiled.

"Good morning Ritsuka. How are you feeling?" He held out his hand, hoping the boy would come and take it.

Ritsuka did, only very slowly. He walked unhurriedly to gently grasp the man's fingers in his own. Cautiously he said, "Good morning. I feel fine, thank you."

As Soubi pulled the hesitant boy into his lap he gave him a swift kiss.

"Nothing's frozen, right?" The older man quickly inspected Ritsuka's fingers.

"No, I'm fine." Ritsuka had a light blush on his face as he took his seat on the man's lap as Soubi continued poking at the fire.

"We'll get onto the next train, then there's one more until the ship. Have you ever been on a boat before?" When the boy shook his head Soubi smiled, "Well then I hope you don't get sea sick. That'd be rather unpleasant."

Ritsuka wrinkled his tiny nose "Rather unpleasant indeed…."

As he spoke Soubi chuckled. Adorable Ritsuka…. If he wasn't a gentleman, he might ravish the boy on the cot. It would certainly please him. But the boy…would he hate it?

He was drawn out of his thoughts as Ritsuka laid his head onto Soubi's shoulder, sighing.

"Are you homesick?" The question was quiet, as if it wanted to not be heard by the boy at all. Soubi thought the boy hadn't heard him as he didn't answer for a second.

"No…Yes…Maybe. I don't know. I don't know…" Soubi dropped the stick and gently wrapped his arms around the boy. His left hand rested on Ritsuka's forehead, and the boy's legs dangled between his own.

"Do you regret me coming and kidnapping you?"

"No. I never could. I prayed every night that someone would come and get me…Get me away from everything…You came and I was terrified. It wasn't what I had expected in the slightest." His face was red from speaking of his feelings, and he nuzzled his face into the small of Soubi's neck, "But I'm glad now. I couldn't hope for anyone better, because there is no one better."

As Soubi listened he petted Ritsuka's hair, drawing it away from his forehead and kissing it. They sat there just listening to each other's breathing, until the sun came up. The sun glistened onto the slow and mad assort of a reflection, and Soubi smiled at the boy.

"Thank you, Ritsuka." He realized that there, in the cold field next to the fire that he had mad Ritsuka had fallen asleep on his lap.

As they were boarding the next train, the one that would take them as far as they could go with out stopping and getting on another, they both decided that they had to get a pair of gloves. As Soubi picked his pair out of the Men's gloves, the woman at the counter, much to Ritsuka's displeasure could only find a pair of kid gloves (1) for Ritsuka. Women's. AS he tried them on they were a perfect fit to his small hands, and his face reddened as Soubi observed them.

"They fit, but will they keep him from getting frostbite?" The woman nodded vigorously.

"Oh, yes sir. I have a pair just the same. I practically ever ear them, they be hotter then you'll ever find in another pair of gloves. Not to mention, beautiful, and soft too." Soubi sighed and looked to the gloves that had a small blue butterfly stitched into them.

"Do you mind them, Ritsuka?" The boy shook his head.

"No, I think they're fine. They don't pinch my fingers, so I'm ok with them. And they're cheap." The boy smiled and Soubi bought both pair. But not before buying a thick hat that fit snugly onto the boy's head. It was the same light blue-grey that his gloves were, but it was made of wool.

**Authors Note: Once again, I'm sorry it was so short my daddy came home. So I have to spend time with him. And no, noy kiddie gloves, kid gloves. Made from the skin of a baby goat. Mhm. Rally soft. ******


	15. The Man Will Kill For Me

**Authors Note: I got slapped in the face today by my ex boyfriend. He's such a prick. My whole fucking face is swollen on the left side. I accidentally bumped into him and he turned around and hit me. So I took it to the fucking principal. And I never rat people out :s Sooo…. Anyway, he got office detention, Saturday school and he got suspended. Freaking jerk. Blaaa. I would have punched him square in the face, but my hand is broken or something. I punched my punching bag until my hands were bloody and all torn up and shit. :[ Its whatever. (This was from Monday)**

**Thank you all. **

**Beware for upsetting things in this chapter.**

**God, I feel like hell tonight.**

**So Mirror, mirror, I'm putting it into words. Sorry if you hate it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

The country passing by out the window of the train made Ritsuka very depressed. It was empty. There was nothing, and he only felt peace in himself when he glanced at the sleeping man across from him. Soubi had stayed up all night after waking up with a bad dream, and sat outside the tent all night guarding it from unknown demons and horrors.

There was a quiet knock on the door of the train box, and the door slid open. Ritsuka was about to protest the men, big men, who came in but a hand was stuffed over his mouth. When he was picked up around the waist, his eyes went to Soubi immediately.

"If you don't want your daddy to get hurt then you wont be screaming, now be a good boy." He nodded, hoping that they really promised not to hurt Soubi.

"Awwh, you're such a good boy, aren't ye?" The gross purr was placed next to his ear which was bit into roughly, making the boy wince and squeak slightly.

He was shaken roughly and removed from the box before he could make another noise.

As his hands were tied above his head and his clothes were removed, but not before a gag was securely placed into his mouth. Much to his displeasure he was stripped of everything.

As the men stood around him looking down his face went red and his eyes filled with tears. He clenched his legs closed and leaned forward as much as he could, making it impossible to see anything beyond his creamy white thighs.

He had been closed into a train car where there were supplies. There were boxes piled everywhere, and his clothes were lying in a pile on the floor near the doorway. Three men with rifles guarded the door, and one spoke to Ritsuka.

"Don't worry, kid. We're not gonna do nothing to yaw. Jus' the boss, see, he likes pretty young things and he saw ye get on earlier. Don't worry yur pretty young mind too much. Aftah threes tah four hours he usually lets 'em go. Don't cause no trouble, yur bein' such a sweet thing. I wouldn't want yaw to be killed, so I be warnin' yaw ahead's of the time."

Ritsuka's eyes widened as the man smiled at him, but he nodded and lowered his head. He was hoping that they would let him go soon. The door opened, and a tall thin man came into the box car. The men nodded and all three left the room, shutting the door tightly.

"Oh now aren't you just gorgeous." The man's voice was as silky smooth as his long curling hair. A yellow eye blinked, and a smirk crossed his face.

"I love beautiful things." He descended upon Ritsuka, putting his hands on the boy's chest, "And I hope we can be close friends."

He pulled the gag out of Ritsuka's mouth and kissed the boy, thrusting his tongue in. Ritsuka was disgusted; the lips pressed against his were abnormally sloppy. As he pushed his tongue back further into Ritsuka's mouth the boy clenched his jaw, earning a cry of pain and the taste of warm blood. The man pulled back and smacked Ritsuka hard across the face, jerking Ritsuka's head to one side. Ritsuka, who had grown accustomed to this via the administrations of his mother, was barely even fazed. He turned his head back and looked the man in the eye, then spit the curly kidnapper's blood onto his polished leather boot.

"You little bastard. Apparently you don't want me to be friends. I would have been gentle, but now…you're going to rip and die." The man's smirk returned.

"You know, if Soubi catches you, you won't stand a chance." Ritsuka wiped his face on his arm; it was close to his face since it was tied above his head.

"Oh I see. So you're threatening me, huh?"

"No, I was warning you. I wouldn't do what you're planning on doing if I were you. You don't have any idea of what Soubi has done for me already." He was slapped again, and the man spread Ritsuka's knees forcefully. He opened his pants and pressed to Ritsuka, the boy became terrified, "Don't!"

"Aww, now you're scarred aren't you? Pathetic. You're going to be ripped boy, and I'm going to kill you." The man pressed harder, and the door burst open. Soubi was standing there in the thresh hold, grasping one of the previous men's riffles.

"Get away from him." Soubi's voice was extremely quiet, "Or I'll kill you."

The ignoring Soubi, not seeing the gun the former soldier was holding, and pressed more. He was planning on torturing the boy, and Ritsuka's eyes widened and his back arched, in an attempt at removing the man from being so close to him.

Soubi pulled the trigger, shooting the man in the back of the thigh. The screams of pain that ensued were so extremely loud that Ritsuka wished that he could cover his ears. Soubi threw down the gun and grabbed the man's long blonde hair, pulling him away from Ritsuka, the boy sitting stunned. It was then that Ritsuka noticed the men sitting outside the boxcar, watching, their mouths gagged, all three tied together.

Soubi had started hitting the man, after pulling him by the hair to his feet. He was shorter then Soubi at least by two feet, his boots even with their thick soles didn't even help the fact of his shortness. Soubi slammed his fist into the mans genital area, doubling the man over in pain. He pulled his knee up to kick the blonde in the face, breaking his nose. Ritsuka had to close his eyes, silently begging the brutality of the man he loved to stop.

"Soubi!" He called the name out after two minutes of the harsh punishment, and Soubi stopped dead, "Please, don't do it anymore." Tears were running down Ritsuka's face, he hated violence.

Soubi dropped the man and rushed over to Ritsuka, untying the boy and wrapping his coat around the small body, "I'm sorry, Ritsuka, I didn't think…I shouldn't have done that when you were in the room." Ritsuka wrapped his arms around Soubi's neck and cried into the man's chest, glad he had actually come. Ritsuka was just boasting, hoping the blonde would believe his brag. But that hadn't happened, and Soubi had almost killed the blonde in less then two minutes.

Soubi kissed him and he sighed, deepening the kiss by leaning up towards the older man and pulling Soubi's head down towards him.

At a groan at the man Ritsuka broke off the kiss, then looked the man in the eye and scowled, "Why didn't you listen? I told you not to do it, but _noo_. And now look at you."

Soubi laughed, and left Ritsuka to retrieve the boy's clothing. When Ritsuka was dressed he pulled Soubi into another kiss, and then realized the four men were looking at them.

"Soubi, what should we do about them?" Ritsuka asked, staring at the men, all of whom were tied together.

"I think if we leave them they'll be fine. We get to the destination we're headed to in about an hour, and by the time somebody finds them we'll be on the boat. So we can just go back to our car. When we get off though, remind me to tell the man at the station that we heard weird noises coming from this boxcar." Soubi smiled at the boy, and took his hand, leading Ritsuka back to their booth.

**Author's Note: Okie dokie. Next chapter might be upsetting, but I realized a way to get the smut here quicker. Don't be pissed at me though, when you read it. Oh, and Death Note fans, check out my new story- Behind The Curtains.**


	16. When The Boy Is Without The Man

**Authors Note: Pssh. Go read my new story, fans of Death Note smut. It's not PWP, cause I never do those. It's got super smut in the last chapter. Fish invited me out today, I had to say no cause I was baby sitting. **

**Thank you all. **

**Beware for upsetting things in this chapter.**

**Like, it's totally a fucking plot twist. **

**So be warned. It might depress you.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

They exited the train and had gotten to an inn, where, to Ritsuka's displeasure, they met the man called Kio.

"Ah, Soubi, you look great. Ritsu my friend, you don't know how much I've missed you." The sarcasm in his voice was completely evident as he patted Soubi on the back and shook his hand.

"Hello, Mister Kio." The man had told him not to be formal last time, but the man just aggravated Ritsuka, "You're looking well."

The boy walked a fair distance away and picked up a book that was lying on a table in the inn's lobby. It seemed interesting, since the whole time Kio and Soubi were speaking he didn't look up from the pages.

"Ritsuka!" Soubi's voice shook Ritsuka out of the book he was reading.

"Yes?" The boy set down the book and reluctantly trudged over to Kio and Soubi.

"We are going to the room; I think you should come with us. The last time I took my eyes off you…was disastrous." Soubi pinched the bridge of his nose, remembering the incident that took place on the train.

Ritsuka's eye's widened, "You…you didn't tell him….You didn't tell, did you?"

There was panicked fear in Ritsuka's voice, as he hoped Soubi hadn't told the man what had happened on the train. Soubi smiled at him.

"No, I didn't tell anyone. Don't worry, I won't either." Soubi reached out and ruffled the boy's hair, "Now come on, we should really get ready for bed. Kio's room is the one across the hall from ours."

In the morning Soubi asked Ritsuka to sit down with him.

"Ritsuka, I know you don't like him, but Kio will be coming with us the rest of the journey." There was disappointment in Ritsuka's eyes, but as soon as Soubi saw it, it was gone.

"Well, it doesn't really matter as long as you're there with me. Without you, I'm always alone." The boy smiled as a blush slightly lined his face. Then it was gone, the same blank expression that could hide so much pain and hurt.

Soubi stood and walked to the desk, retrieving an envelope, he handed it to Ritsuka. The thick envelope had Ritsuka's name written beautifully in Soubi's calligraphy on it.

"Don't open it now, but if anything ever happens and you find yourself alone, open only the first envelope." The thick white envelope had several others inside.

"But Soubi, what-" There was a nock at the door.

"Oh, it's Kio." Soubi smiled and placed the envelope into his breast pocket on the inside of his coat.

The day had finally come to get onto the ship that would take the three out of the country. Ritsuka stared blankly as they walked slowly to get to the boat docks.

"Ritsuka? Are you alright?" Soubi placed his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" The blank, cold gaze stared up at Soubi, causing the man's heart to sink. The past nights Ritsuka would turn away from him, not get near him in the bed and sleep on the bed far away from Soubi. He hadn't let the older man kiss him since the day Soubi gave him the envelope.

"Are you…mad at me?" The voice was low and Kio suddenly walked a few steps behind, noting the sadness and desperation in Soubi's voice.

"No. Why are you asking me all these strange questions, Soubi? Are you ok?" The child was hurt. Soubi saw the flash in the boy's eyes just before it disappeared.

"No…I don't think so. I think I'm losing something more important to me then breathing itself." He sighed and stood strait again, since he had bent down a little to speak to Ritsuka.

Kio was back at their side and was trying to make some form of conversation.

"It's a great day to go out to see, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Uh-huh." The voices were in sync in every way but the tones. Ritsuka's was cold and distant and hurt, while Soubi's was depressed and lonely.

"Okay then…" Kio sighed, his attempt at starting a conversation failed.

As they got towards the ship Soubi almost fainted, knowing what he would have to do in moments.

He told Kio to stop and pulled Ritsuka into an ally.

"I'm sorry. For whatever I've done to make you hate me. God, Ritsuka I'm sorry."

"What are you talking about?" The look on Ritsuka's face was confused, but not cold or hurt, "Why the hell do you think I hate you?"

Soubi inhaled, "Because you're avoiding me. You have been since the day after we got off the last train."

Ritsuka's head lowered, disabling Soubi from seeing the boy's eyes.

"I haven't been avoiding you because I hate you. There are two reasons I've been avoiding you. The main reason is because like you said, we can't do anything until we get to Asia, and I'm…having a hard time controlling myself…But the second reason is Kio. He likes to barge in during weird moments, and he told me he's jealous of me because you love me." The red face that was underneath the black hair was close to exploding.

Ritsuka was embarrassed that he had told Soubi the first reason. Soubi sighed, relieved that the boy still loved him, and descended on the boy, giving him a kiss that could have brought a god to its knees, pushing the boy against the wall. He pinned Ritsuka's arms to the wall next to either side of his head and slid his tongue into the youth's mouth tasting every crevice that he could find.

After they separated, they went back to Kio, Ritsuka's face flushed and red.

"We should go now." Kio's annoyed tone was enough to put them both back together and they started off again.

The crowd on the dock was immense and more then once Ritsuka almost lost Soubi. But after the third time, Ritsuka grabbed onto the man's coat.

After being jostled here and there he lost Soubi as he got onto deck, but as he turned around he was pulled by Kio up to the second then third deck. Ritsuka rushed to the railing and didn't see Soubi in the crowds, on the ship or on the docks.

"Kio, he's not on the boat!" He turned to see the man looking sadly down at a cigarette, "Kio, we have to find him! Why the heck are you just standing there, why don't you even seem phased by this!?!" Ritsuka rushed for the way back down to the main deck, but Kio caught the boy into his arms.

"Stop kid." He voice was shallow and almost cruel.

Ritsuka struggled and managed to hit the older man in the face, giving him enough time to get down the main flight of stairs, and then he had to get down the next. The boat had already started moving from shore, and as Ritsuka got to the main deck it would be too far even to swim back. Tears surged down his face as he looked against the crowds only to find Soubi waving sadly.

Ritsuka stared at the man, knowing full well they wouldn't turn the boat around, even if he pleaded.

Kio came up behind him, putting his arms around the boy. Ritsuka watched until his eyes felt they would bleed from him straining to see Soubi.

"I'm sorry, kid." Kio's voice was gruff and he would have just stood there without saying anything else until Ritsuka turned and buried his face into Kio and sobbed.

"Why? Why didn't he get on the boat?" The tears seemed to never stop flowing as Kio kneeled down by the boy and put his arms around the child's neck.

"He didn't get on because he loves you. You should open the first letter, Ritsu."

They went to the room on the ship they were to have, a first class room. Kio was apparently very wealthy.

As Ritsuka opened the first envelope he pulled out thirteen others and a letter. The small stark white envelopes weren't as big as the first, but they were all bulging.

He read the letter aloud to Kio after reading it to himself.

**Authors note: You don't get the letter yet! Hahaha! Nah, I'll post it soon. Maybe.**

**But anyway, please forgive me for bringing on the angst. **


	17. If The Boy Is Only Dreaming Return To Me

**Authors Note: I went to Layne Bryant's today, and got four bras. The woman measured me and around I'm 34 inched. I used to be DD cup. I'm a fucking DDD now. Shit.**

**Whatever. That sucks. I beat Tyra Banks though, lol. I love her. I have like the biggest boobs in Conneaut. Grrr. The bra's feel great though. xD I also got my name inscribed into a dog tag for my collar! It's a little golden heart and it says 'Kanna Starr' I love it!**

**Ok, it's Monday. My school is closed because of a graffiti death threat. The wall outside the school says 'Students will die.' It's awesome. **

**Not the death threat, but that I'm in a school system that has them.**

**Thank you all. **

**So that last one was a shocker there, huh? Yep yep.**

**I'm GREAT on those.**

**On To The Disclaimer!**

**I gots me something in this chapter that you'll love me for. **

**I want a million fucking reviews!**

**Please?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless. **

Kio looked down at the sleeping boy. They had reached their final destination months ago, and since the first day on the boat he hadn't cried once. He couldn't cry. It was like the tears had just vanished. It was the first time he had slept in days. It had been two years since either of them had seen Soubi.

They lived in Soubi's old house. Upon entering the old place Ritsuka looked deeply saddened.

"It smells like him…" It was a sigh, heavy on the heart of both of the men.

Ritsuka didn't ask anymore, not about why Soubi had left him. He probably figured the man had abandoned him. It wasn't true…Or was it? Had Soubi abandoned both the boy he loved and his friend? Soubi wasn't like that….Was he?

These doubtful thoughts had not only crossed Kio's mind, but most definitely the child's in front of him. No, not a child anymore. He might have been once, but he lost it. It was a tragedy, to grow up in a moment, leaving every good part of life behind. He had seen the boy fall. He was horrified to see that he couldn't catch the boy. _He_ would never have been able to save the boy. When Soubi departed, the last bits of life in Ritsuka had faded.

It was midnight, and the boy had only fallen asleep the moment the clock had struck twelve. What kind of horrid dream was the boy having? His face was contorted with anguish and he tossed restlessly. If it hadn't been the first sleep the boy had gotten in days Kio would have considered waking the boy.

The doorbell of the big empty house rang and he slowly walked through the mansion to get to the door.

"Who would come at midnight?" He grumbled, not thinking clearly from his own lack of sleep.

When he got to the door he didn't stop to look out the peek hole, but he immediately focused on all the locks that had been placed over the door. When he got the door open he was amazed to see the man standing there.

"You…He's sleeping…Kay?" Soubi grinned at his stunned friend as he walked into his house.

"Over two years and that's all you can say to me? I don't believe that you missed me too much." He almost regretted the words as his friend flung himself at Soubi and sobbed into his shoulder, "Ah, I'm sorry Kio. I had o stay away because I was having a complication. I can't tell you what yet though."

"You're such a jerk!" Kio continued to sob into Soubi's shoulder, "You said you'd follow us soon. You're such a liar!"

"I did follow soon. I was only a few months away from you. I couldn't help it; I got caught in numerous storms. I'm sorry. I won't leave again."

Soubi hugged the man gently, noticing how much thinner he was. It wasn't a good sign, and he pined for Ritsuka. He was sleeping though and Soubi defiantly wouldn't wake the boy.

Soubi didn't want to wait another night to see the boy, and he sure as hell didn't want to wake him up, so he was left trying to decide what to do. When the two men parted, Kio stood back.

"You want to come up and sit in his room with me? He can't fall asleep with out any one in the room." Soubi's brow knit together, but he nodded and followed his friend.

"I honestly didn't mean to disappear for that long, Kio. Does he hate me?" Soubi shivered at the thought, and clenched his jaw, waiting for the other's reply.

"No. He misses you to no end. I think he's sure you abandoned us though…" The sigh that escaped Kio's lips was devastating, and Soubi grabbed his arm.

"Abandoned? Why does he think I abandoned him? Didn't he read the letters?"

"A million times over. He keeps them under his pillow with the picture of him and his brother." They reached the room that the boy was sleeping in and quietly entered.

Soubi noticed immediately the two inches that the boy had grown. He had grown, but not a lot. It was almost comical. The bags under his eyes were more prominent and his hair was matted to his face from sweat. His face was contorted, and he was thrashing in the bed, but he was caught in the sheets.

As Soubi stared, the boy shot strait up and out of the room.

Vomiting sounds could be heard from down the hall in the wash room. Was his nightmare that horrid, or was the boy sick. Kio hurried after him, emitting a quick order to stay in the room.

He waited, and he heard the sound of Kio's voice, then the sound of Ritsuka's.

Then he heard footsteps, coming up quickly.

"I'm fine. Just because there's a little blood in it doesn't mean anything, I just-"He stopped dead in his tracks, mouth open, "Soubi…"

The look that Soubi received was nothing short of that which he had received from Kio earlier before the boy launched himself at Soubi.

There was a face buried in Soubi's neck before he could even say hello. The frail body was shaking and thin, even thinner then when he had first kidnapped the boy.

"I'm not…." The voice was cut off by a small sob that wracked the boy's whole body.

"Ritsuka?"

"I'm not…dreaming right? You are here aren't you?" Soubi hugged the boy tightly before agreeing.

"I'm here. I'm sorry I was gone so long Ritsuka…" Soubi's eyes filled with tears that were never released. He wasn't one for crying much, but sometimes his eyes would water at the though of Ritsuka.

The body stopped sobbing and Soubi found himself holding onto an unconscious little boy.

"Ah, he's tired. It's nothing to worry about. His insomnia is really bad. He has sleeping medication, but he's not aloud to take it any more."

As Soubi laid the boy down he sighed. God he had missed that boy…

**Author's Note: Hell yes. See how awesome I am? Smut soon.**


	18. The Boy Brings The Man Two Great Shocks

**Authors Note: Non, non, Mon Cheri. (Yes, I'm feeling French at the moment via Phantom of the Opera) Don't be envious of my boobs. You see, I have terrible back problems because I'm a triple D. It's not good. I regret not having A cup's. I really do wish I had smaller boobs naturally, because my doctor said that somewhere between now and the time I'm 21 I will probably have to have a breast reduction. I'm going to see a shrink soon for depression. My mommy called today. That's kinda….Mehhh….. Its 10:00 Thursday night, I ain't gone into school this week. I'm ill. Barf EVERYWHERE. Suckageee. Bwah. I must have gotten up on the wrong side of life today….**

**Thank you all. **

**I'm joking about being awesome, you're**

**all amazing because I have 106 reviews!**

**I'm so happy!**

**Wait one more chapter??? IM SO SORY!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless. **

While he admired the sleeping boy Kio reentered the room without him noticing it.

"He's happy to see you. He was really…extremely depressed. I mean, the kid barely talked." Kio sighed, bending to push the hair from the sleeping boy's face.

"Why can't he take his sleeping medication?"

Kio stood, eyes cast to the floor, chewing on his lower lip. Soubi realized he wasn't going to be given an answer.

"Why?" He gripped his friend's wrist.

"Ah…" The gasp was almost painful, and Soubi loosened his grip slightly, "He…"

Kio looked sadly at the boy, and lifted his frail wrist. There was a little moon shaped scar. Soubi's eyes grew wide, and he released Kio, realizing what the boy must have done. There was a twin scar on the other wrist.

"He….drank two bottles of laudanum (1)… and slashed his wrists a few months ago….Just after we got here. I found him…." Kio shuddered, wrapping his arms around himself, "And got him to a hospital. He wasn't very happy when he woke up, either. Like I said, you sure do know how to pick 'em…"

Before he had spoken the last sentence, Soubi was out the door. He almost vomited before he reached the buildings exit, tears steaming down his face.

"Shit…" He breathed deeply as he sat on the curb, and rain started to drizzle down the streets.

"Soubi?" Kio was out next to him, and wrapping his arms around the man, "You're in shock, Soubi…Calm down. He's fine now, everything's fine."

Soubi started to shiver. The warmth of the man behind him wasn't helping the chill that seeped through his bones.

"It's not….f…fine Ki…Kio…." His teeth chattered, and his body shook, "He tried to commit suicide because of me!"

Kio's warm hand pressed to Soubi's forehead and he gently rubbed his friends hair. In the back of his mind a stray thought roamed trough Soubi's panic stricken mind, '_When did Kio become so motherly?_'

It was completely pouring before the rain stopped, but Soubi didn't notice until the man next to him shifted.

"Kio….Sorry, we should go inside…" It was a heavy sigh from the man who had just found out that the one he loved the most had tried to end his life.

"Soubi, are you alright?" Kio stood, exposing the rest of Soubi's back.

Both of their shirts clung to them, and they had to get close to each other's ears to hear themselves even to think.

"I'm fine…We need to go inside." The din around them blocked any further comment from Kio as Soubi walked back into the house.

"Idiot…" Kio's lips formed the word as he followed the one he loved most, sighing heavily as he made a commitment to help the two as much as he possibly could.

Ritsuka was sitting up in the bed as Soubi entered the room once again. He didn't see Soubi entering as he was reading the ingredients on a bottle of medication….which was plucked away immediately by his tall lover.

"None of that now, alright?" The older man sniffed, going to the window.

He opened it and chucked the laudanum out.

"I wasn't going to do anything with it you know….I guess Kio already told you, huh? You look like shit." Soubi sighed and leaned to the boy, wrapping a wet arm around him.

"Stop this fight with the world, ok kid?"

"Hey, at least I'm winning. You know how it is, life can be a bitch, but some people can out-shit it, right?" He had thrown his arms up dramatically.

"Looks like I'm unneeded." Kio smiled at the two from the hallway, and pointed down the hall. "I'm gonna go to bed. See yaa."

The two looked at Kio's disappearing and Ritsuka rose, to Soubi's surprise and shut and locked the door. He removed big skeleton key and quietly clipped it to a small necklace around his neck.

"Ritsuka…?" The boy began advancing towards Soubi, and he backed up until he hit the boy's bureau (2).

"You said to wait until we got to Asia, right? 'Cause its totally legal here? Well, I'm pretty sure I'm standing in Asia at the moment." He reached around and pulled Soubi's head down, kissing him.

Soubi, still too shocked to barely move, raised his hands and placed them onto the boy's waist.

They were most definitely in Asia.

**Author's Note: Mother Fuck! I had to upload it before I was finished cause today was my deadline. I wrote this in ten fucking minutes! I died….**

**An old sleeping drug. Two bottles of it could kill a small child. I'm pretty sure Ritsuka's little anorexic ass is qualified as such….**

**(2) Its basically a dresser type thingy. The dancing dresser in Beauty and The Beast was a bureau. I feel so smart. **


	19. the Boy And The Man Come Togeather

**Authors Note: Non, non, Mon Cheri. (Yes, I'm feeling French at the moment via Phantom of the Opera) Don't be envious of my boobs. You see, I have terrible back problems because I'm a triple D. It's not good. I regret not having A cup's. I really do wish I had smaller boobs naturally, because my doctor said that somewhere between now and the time I'm 21 I will probably have to have a breast reduction. I'm going to see a shrink soon for depression. My mommy called today. That's kinda….Mehhh….. Its 10:00 Thursday night, I ain't gone into school this week. I'm ill. Barf EVERYWHERE. Suckageee. Bwah. I must have gotten up on the wrong side of life today… (It's now Saturday. It's been a whole week since I've posted. I'm so tired. I'm sorry.) And now it's Tuesday night. I'm so sorry. I hope to get this up this week. Jesus, its Friday. Yesterday I asked a girl whom I've liked for a while now out, and she said she would be my girlfriend. I'm so happy. I feel like a pedophile though, because I think she's thirteen. I'm fifteen. Bwah. I have coffee, and I will post this chapter today.**

**Thank you all. **

**I'm joking about being awesome, you're**

**all amazing because I have 121 reviews!**

**I'm so happy!**

**There is only one more chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless. **

Soubi gasped as Ritsuka pulled his head down further, kissing him deeper then he even thought the boy knew how. When they broke the kiss for air, he studied his young lover's face. He then realized the boy was acting as hard as he could, but a blush still penetrated through the innocent cheeks, brighter then any flame.

He smiled down at Ritsuka, whose knees were visibly shaking.

"Ritsuka, you don't have to do anything. I especially love when you're…" He lowered his voice down to almost a whisper, and brought his face to the boy's ear, " Helpless."

The shiver that he brought out of the boy was mirrored as he ran his fingers up the thin back, and nipped at Ritsuka's neck.

"Sou…Soubi….!" He grasped onto the older man's shoulders because he had almost dropped to the floor.

"Ritsuka…." He bit more then lightly into the boy's thin neck, causing a shudder to brightly pass through the boy, "I love you."

"Ah…" He was panting, and with Soubi causing his more masochistic side to shiver, he could barely comprehend the sweet words he had longed to hear for two lonely years.

The older man placed his hand onto Ritsuka's stomach before slowly, agonizingly slowly, pressing it down to lower into the boy's britches. The moan that he received caused him to lick at the creamy skin in front of him, sending even more shivers into the boy.

Ritsuka's taste was heavenly. He was like sunlight and flowers and smiles and laughter and a hint of tears all rolled into one person. What kind of shampoo's or soaps did this boy use to taste this good? It must be some Chinese soap. The boy was simply marvelous.

He sighed as he took the boy's lips again, and finally grasped the small member. Immediately on contact the boy arched backwards, bent over an arm embracing him from behind, eyes wide.

"Ah! Sou…Ah…!" Soubi slid his warm fingers up the shaft and pressed the small hole, and fingernails dug into his biceps, "Wait…Ah!...Sou…Ah….!"

The boy almost couldn't speak, pleasure leaking through out his tiny fragile body. He convulsed, and realized a moment later that Soubi had moved them to his bed. He was picked up and laid onto the bed, his member currently ignored. He watched transfixed as the man removed his shirt and breathed a beautiful sigh at the sight. He reached up unconsciously and placed his palm onto Soubi's broad chest, causing the man to shudder and lunge for him.

Hands were touching him everywhere, and Kio could undoubtedly hear every moan that slid silkily past his small mouth and into the atmosphere. When Soubi stripped him of the last of his clothing, he closed his eyes, face red in embarrassment. He didn't expect Soubi to grab him by the chin and kiss him, and his eyes flew open. He stared at Soubi after the man released him, watching the man in front of him strip in the most perfect display of beauty he had ever seen.

Soubi had a scar around his neck, one that wrapped around his whole throat in a circular motion. It looked as if the man had been strangled with barbed wire, with small points to the circle sticking out as if there had been points on whatever had sliced the mans neck. He had broad shoulders and a lean frame, thin hips and strong legs. Ritsuka's face blushed almost purple when he saw Soubi's erection; the boy had no idea how big Soubi was.

Ritsuka sat up, kneeling, leaned foreword and put his arms around the man's neck as Soubi placed a knee onto the bed. He placed his hand under Ritsuka's backside, pushing him back onto the bed, determined to keep the boy there. His mouth slid to Ritsuka's neck and the boy shuddered, arching his back to meet their chests together. Soubi had one hand on the small of Ritsuka's back and the other planted on his left nipple, softly rubbing it causing the boy beneath him to moan. When Soubi's mouth replaced the hand Ritsuka's eyes shot open and he grabbed at Soubi's shoulder.

"Ah…..Soubi….that's….ah!" Soubi kissed down the boy's stomach until he reached the base of Ritsuka's member, where he placed a small kiss before taking the tip into his mouth, "Ah! That's….Don't….!"

His tongue swirled around the member, up and down the shaft, and a few times it pressed into the tiny hole, causing the boy to buck and arch in an attempt to get away from the strange feeling and to push himself into Soubi's mouth further at the same time.

When he released the small member, there was pre-cum dripping from the tip, which he used to coat his fingers. He took the boy into a deep kiss, and pressed his index finger into the boy's hole. Ritsuka dug his fingers into Soubi's biceps, and tears formed at the base of his now open eyes, eyes that showed fear and anticipation and hope and love.

"We can stop…" Soubi's breathless whisper seared through Ritsuka's ears, who shook his head quickly, trying to find out weather or not he was feeling pain or pleasure.

"Don't….P…please keep….ah…."As Soubi pushed the digit in all the way, the boy gasped, his breath catching into his throat. Another finger was added after a while, and when the third was added the boy almost shrank into the bed. There was defiantly pain, but the pleasure was coming up close behind it.

"Ritsuka….I'm bigger then my fingers….It will hurt worse then this. If you want me to, stopping now would be the best thing-"

"No! I…..Don't stop…." There was a deeper blush then ever before as Soubi spat into his hand, spreading it onto his own, large, member.

"Then please relax yourself…I want it not to hurt….Don't tense your muscles up until I'm inside…." The concern in Soubi's voice was enough, and Ritsuka smiled at the man, groaning somewhat when the fingers were removed.

As he pressed into the boy tears gathered in Ritsuka's eyes, spilling out the sided from the pain. He pressed in slowly, dreadfully slowly, and almost died from the tightness of Ritsuka's virgin entry. When he was in all the way he waited. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, or even years, Ritsuka didn't know as the pain ebbed away.

"Ritsuka…" With a nod of his head the boy bid Soubi to move, the older man pulled out then quickly pushed back inside, only a little, praying not to hurt his lover.

"M…move…" Ritsuka's face was pale but flushed; his eyes half lidded as he commanded Soubi to continue. The older man started off at a slow pace, pulling almost all the way out, and then slowly pushing himself back into the boy.

A few moments of this and he sped up, hitting something inside the boy.

"Ah!" The boy's eyes burst open as he arched up, clinging to Soubi, "Please…."

Soubi sped up; causing noises that would wake the dead to emit themselves from Ritsuka's body.

Ritsuka gasped and pleaded with the man to move faster and go harder, demands which were readily complied to as Soubi's member pressed deeply into the boy.

'Hah…..Soubi…" The boy was panting as something tight and hot coiled into his abdomen, begging his body to release, which he tried his hardest to hold back.

Soubi was holding his own release in, but when he felt the walls around him tighten he placed his hand onto the boy's member and pumped. The boy's arms snaked around his neck as he moved, shaking the whole bed into almost an oblivion.

He watched as the boy came, his little obsidian eyes rolled back into his head as he called out Soubi's name. Soubi continued to thrust into the boy, holding the boy in his orgasm as long as he himself could stay. When he came in the boy, Ritsuka moaned in pleasure.

Soubi sighed, pulling out, and nearly collapsed onto the bed. He studied his young lover; who had fallen asleep. There were kiss marks along his tiny neck and chest, Soubi's marks. Placing a kiss on the boy's temple, he fell asleep to hear a sighed, "I love you," as he gathered the boy into his arms.

**Author's note: It's not done yet! One more chapter. I'm so sorry it was so late. Earlier my mouse died. I couldn't do anything. I'm really sorry at my absence. I hope none of you have abandoned reading the story! Yea, I just had to make Ritsuka be all helpless. He's so damn cute! Bwahaha.**

**O yea. I'm so amazing. I'm submitting a book (my own character's and plot) in to be published for Push. Yay.**


	20. The Loss And The Love

Authors Note: ITS ALMOST OVERR

**Authors Note: ITS ALMOST OVERR. TwT THAT'S SO SUCKAGEE. Annnnd this is really short. I'm sorry. :( My friend Brett (My Dorkenss Hero) bought me gorgeous earrings. They're yen; the Japanese tendency. They aren't well made, but they're beautiful and I love them. Ryan (My Phantom Of The Goth Kid) came over to my house, and Brett shortly after. Both of them stayed a while, and Brett and I walked Ryan home so he didn't have to go alone. On the way back I saw some little yellow weed-like flowers and said I liked them. So I picked a few and gave them to Brett. We passed them back and forth, giving them to each other. After a while Brett fell behind for a minute with the flowers. He handed them back with a little white flower. I didn't see any other colored so I just picked some more yellow. We continued. After another long while, Brett took the flowers and picked a flower out of some ones **_**garden**_** for me. It's a really pretty purple. We came up to an overpass and climbed the stairs to get up to the train tracks on it. We sat there for a while and Brett found a pretty little black bottle cap with a white eagle that has a crown. I'm not one for booze, so I don't know the brand. But he gave that to me as well. And we continued. When I got home, we left the flowers in the room the cats live in; where pretty much people only leave their shoes. I forgot to give him back the bottle cap, so he said to keep it when we drove him home. I plan on putting a Kanji into it and then making it into a necklace for him.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

Soubi blinked. He smiled as he watched Ritsuka curl up close to his side. He had never been happier as he wrapped his arms around his tiny lover. He returned to the boy, and Ritsuka still loved him.

"Soubi?" Ritsuka was peering up at him sleepily.

"Hmm?"

"Why didn't you…" Tears filled the boys eyes and he appeared as helplessly frightened as the night he had been kidnapped, "I thought you hated me…"

Soubi gathered Ritsuka to his chest and held him there.

"I found your brother. He's dead." Ritsuka jerked in the older mans arms and struggled to get away.

As Soubi held him tightly, Ritsuka denied the fact of his brother's death, trying to force away from his lover.

"No! It's impossible!" Soubi easily held the fragile boy in a warm embrace. As the boy calmed, his sobs grew. He lay crying on Soubi's chest, the older man petting his hair.

When the boy had stopped crying he still lay there; Soubi's arms still around his slender frame. Soubi's hand still petting the crown of his head, fingers laced into thick silky black hair.

"Soubi…" His voice was cracked and tired from crying.

"Hmm?" The boy pressed a small kiss to the hand that shoulder, preventing him from straying from Soubi.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**Authors Note: OMFG I NEVER WANTED IT TO END! TwT**

**WWWHHHHYYY??**

**So unfair. I'm sorry it took **_**so long **_**and ended in such a short chapter. It's only like 212 words, OvO damn it. Sorry. I hope you like it, please review. Damn. My AN is longer then my story.**


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